Christmas Break

Christmas break was fantastic and just what I needed. I spent three weeks in Marathon and although it was pretty low key it was nice just to have some company and spend time with the family and my friends. It was our first Christmas without Nana but we still celebrated like she would have wanted us to. Three of dad’s siblings came to Marathon and we had a great time – played games, chatted, went sliding just as us Rogers used to do when we were small. A few more people in Marathon know about my disease now too and were supportive. Its hard going out there because people don’t always recognize me and I think assume that I’ve just let myself go. It is amazing how many people now say to me though that they knew something must be medically wrong with me. Its not something I really go around shouting from the rooftops though. I don’t mind people knowing but I’m not really the type to go around announcing it, that’s just awkward haha. I really do appreciate everyone being so understanding and supportive though. After Marathon I went to Candyse’s wedding! I was her MC which was a huge honour – even though I was super super nervous to do it. I’m not a big public speaker but it wasn’t so bad. Everyone always laughs at me and says but you're a teacher, what do you mean you can't speak in front of a crowd. I always say, yes, I'm teacher. Of 6 yr olds. They are far less intimidating than adults!! They love me no matter what I say and don't make fun of me ever, not even when I draw terrible pictures on the board haha. In fact I had the kids help me write my speech by giving me words of advice for a newly married couple, they had some gems like "THe husband should pay the bills". Haha, gold. If I am honest, this disease even affected my night – I know it shouldn’t have but I can’t help but let it sometimes no matter how hard I try not to. I had a dress made since shopping has been so difficult lately, so I thought this would be perfect, it would be more flattering. Not so. As soon as I put that dress on I started to cry and just hated the way I looked. My poor mom and sister didn’t know what to tell me to make me feel better, they were going to let me stay home but I knew I couldn’t. It was Candyse’s day and I wanted to be there for her – it wasn’t about me feeling comfortable and I needed to get over it. I just really didn’t want to stand in front of a crowd looking the way I did. I knew that no one would really care, especially Candsye and her family who know all about this and my friends who were there because they have been so great during this, but the fact was I cared. I didn’t want to ruin Candyse’s pictures and I didn’t want people to think I was pregnant which I know people do and can’t blame them for because I do. Its even worse now because the new medication I am on doesn’t let me drink. Here I am with my belly ordering non-alcoholic drinks just hoping no one asks me when I’m due.  These new pills are supposed to lower my cortisol levels and start reversing some effects of the disease but they are very hard on the liver. Never a perfect solution I suppose. My doctor said they are just temporary until I go for another brain surgery – just waiting for the MRI! She upped my dosage while I was home over the holidays and I had to call my pharmacy in Calgary to transfer my prescription – the pharmacist knew who I was immediately when I called and was like Sarah! How was your trip? Are you back?? Hahaha Oh good old Gerry…if that isn’t a sign I visit the pharmacy too much I don’t know what is haha. Its sweet though. Anyway, after the wedding I flew down to visit Janine and Brandy for a week before heading back to Calgary. It was my first new years not spent in Marathon or going out since I can remember! Nice to spend it with good friends…even if we did nearly miss the countdown because we had the tv on the channel, wrong time zone! Hahaha.