Results please!!

Well. January was a whole lot of waiting for nothing. I finally got my results yesterday after a couple of weeks of phoning the offices bugging receptionists. I feel bad but seriously what was the point of getting an urgent MRI if they aren’t even going to look at it. The surgeon had the results on his desk for two weeks at least that I know of and I still didn’t get a call. The receptionist just told me she couldn’t tell me anything because he hadn’t told her anything – fair enough but please don’t sound so annoyed with me, its my health, I’m just worried. I didn’t even call much – twice. Well three times, and the third time I phoned she tells me oh yes, I mailed your results on Friday. Like wtf. You know I’ve been calling, why would you just mail them? And I was under the impression I was needing to go in for another surgery so surely I’d need more than a letter in the mail?! Turns out the letter said the surgeon reviewed my MRI and there is no evidence of recurrence so a followup MRI has been scheduled for January 2013. Omg. I don’t even know what to do, I am about to lose my mind. I called my endocrinologist to ask her about this since she is the one so convinced they didn’t get the full tumour but of course she wasn’t in the office. I left a message but she hasn’t gotten back to me yet. Normally she’s pretty good at calling me though. I am just so fed up. We need to do something about this, clearly if there is no tumour there is another issue and I’d like to get to the bottom of it. I want my life back already. Maybe this will mean I can go back to work sooner though? Its going to be hard getting back into that routine of getting up early!! I still have so much trouble sleeping at night, its ridiculous. Even when I get up early in the morning, like today I was up at 7 to go for bloodwork, I just feel like poo all day and still can’t sleep at night. I guess after a week or so of working I’ll be back in the swing of things but I’m scared to go back. As excited as I am and as much as I want to get back to the kids, I’m nervous. I hope I haven’t lost my touch and forgotten how to teach! I have no clue what they’ve been doing all year so I’m afraid I will be out of touch and won’t know what to do. The kids probably won’t want me back anyway now that they have had their other teacher all year they won’t want to say goodbye to her! They haven’t forgotten about me though. A few kids have sent me messages saying they miss me and want me to go back, and a few parents have sent emails asking how I’m doing which is super thoughtful. It feels nice to be missed and remembered! Oh well, don’t know what the endocrinologist has in store for me so we will see when I go back...I’m cleared til Spring break for sure. What to do what to do haha. My sister is coming in two weeks to visit though!! Can’t wait!! I thought I might be scheduled for surgery while she was here which would’ve sucked but I guess I don’t have to worry about that happening now, sigh. Oh well. If the dr doesn’t phone me tomorrow I don’t care, I’ll phone them again. Gotta be pushy I guess. I just kinda feel like they don’t care about me anymore, I’m old news and they are bored with me now. They just keep telling me I need to wait and say how patient I am. Well I’m running out of patience. They don’t have to live with this crap every day and I don’t want to anymore. Trying to stay positive but they are making it hard! I’ve been reading other people’s messages online about their experience with Cushings and it sounds like they have it way harder than I do. I feel guilty for being upset about it in comparison, and it also scares me thinking of what this might become.